I don’t think a woman should ever leave her husband because he has cheated. That should never be the only reason for her to walk away.
When a man is a good provider. When he shows his wife respect. When he rightfully treats her as his queen. When he doesn’t deny her her conjugal rights. When he protects her from her enemies and gives her good counsel. When he is a good father to his children. When he wants the best for his wife and helps her career excel. Then there is more than se_xual love in the marriage. There is companionship, friendship, and purpose. If his intention is never to divorce his wife but wants to spend the rest of his life with her but he has cheated in a moment of weakness and insanity, then why should a woman throw all the love, security and purpose away because of one wrong?
Why allow another woman to come and take your place and get the ‘good man’ in him? Why allow another woman to come and have children for your husband and jeopardize your children’s inheritance? What guarantee do you have that you will get a man who is better than your husband? What guarantee do you have that your next man will not cheat on you?
When it comes to cheating husbands, most of the times women listen to ‘motivational’ speeches by women who are single. Most women would rather listen to ‘friends advice’ on how not to take bullshit from their husbands. The world will give the women all the reasons to leave such a marriage. But no one ever tells women that most of the times the grass is never greener on the other side either. If anything the grass is rather dry on the other side. No one will be there with the ‘motivational quotes’ when the woman is a single mother struggling emotionally, socially and se_xually.
No one will be there with the motivational quotes when the woman is now being used by men who have no intention of marrying her but just want to defile her.
I know a lot of women will find this article rather unfair. But that is the reality of life. Women will say that it should be the same if a woman cheats too, the husband should just forgive her. Well, the world doesn’t quite work like that. Women and men are different. When a man has se_x with a woman, he is the giver. It can be purely sexual and not emotional. But when a woman has se_x with a man, she’s the receiver, and her emotions become tied to the man.
As I have matured over the years, I have seen women whose husbands have cheated on them, chose to forgive and fight for their marriage and today they are way better off than they would have been had they listened to people and ended their marriages. On the other hand, I have seen women who left their husbands for cheating and sadly they remain spinsters or never find true love. Off course cheating is bad and very hurtful, and it takes a lot to rebuild the trust again and move on, but I do not believe it is good enough reason for a woman to leave her husband in pursuit of a new ‘non-cheating partner’.
Life is never a bunch of red roses. Even the best marriages have trials. Sometimes those trials sadly involve cheating. It is awful and never justifiable, but it should never be the sole reason why a woman has to walk away.
I think the most justifiable reason for a woman to divorce her husband is when he is abusive and cruel. When he takes away her dignity and sanity. When he belittles her and treats her as though she is not his wife. When he violates her human rights and there is no ounce of any form of love, respect and affection for her. When he deals treacherously with her heart, when her sanity, purpose, and dignity is compromised because of the marriage, then, of course, she has no choice but to leave.
When I walked away from my first marriage, cheating had nothing to do with it. There was no purpose, friendship, dignity, and no love. My entire existence and sanity were being compromised. It got to a point where my life was in danger.
When a marriage is like that, I don’t even think the man is your husband. He is rather the enemy of your soul.
But I can understand women like Victoria Beckham, Vannessa Bryant, Beyonce and many who forgave and stayed with their cheating husbands. There is no way these strong willed women would have found better men than their current husbands. These women have men who have helped them find their destiny and purpose. Their husbands have elevated them and put them on high places. Their husbands are more than lovers to them.
I can understand why Kasi Bennett never left Usain Bolt because of the cheating scandals. Usain has success, financial security, and power. We can lie to each other that money doesn’t matter in a relationship, but it does. We spend all our lives chasing money and success. So why would Kasi Bennet give all that up to other women?
In 2010, Tiger Woods’s wife Elin Nordegren chose to listen to the world and left her cheating husband even though Tiger Woods pleaded with her to give him another chance. Ever since she left her husband, she has always been in and out of relationships. It’s truly obvious that the grass has never been greener on the other side. I think she would have been better off had she given her husband another chance.
I am yet to see a woman who left her husband for cheating and she found true love on the other side. Life is not a bed of roses. I’m not defending cheating men, but unfortunately, ‘cheating’ is not excluded in the ‘for better or worse’ vows.
And recently I can understand why heavily pregnant Colleen Rooney is not in a haste to walk away from Wayne Rooney. Without Wayne Rooney, she would have never had the life she has. They have children together. They are more than just lovers. Why would she walk away and give another woman her children’s inheritance? I have so much respect for these women who refuse the ‘strong independent woman’ garbage.
Women should think with their heads and not emotions when it comes to their husbands cheating. Motivational messages about how to be a strong independent woman can be very deceptive. Cheating is never a strong enough reason to throw away your marriage and let another woman come and enjoy what you worked hard for, and worse more bear children for the man you obviously still love.